not in control

I really like San Antonio. Have you ever felt like you're not in control of what's happening, like this path is just being laid out before you and you're just following it? That's how I feel right now. Things continue to fall into place. Even when they don't seem like they're going to, they turn around and work out. Sometimes it's not the way I had originally envisioned, but they still do.

I know that I'm not always going to be this circumstantially happy. Things are going to get hard again, and it's going to seem like nothing is going right. The difference (I hope!) will be that I have found internal happiness. And that will keep me from totally falling apart during the dark times.

I truly believe, after having been back in the States for three whole weeks now, that going to Korea was the single most important decision I've ever made. It didn't turn out the way I thought it would, of course, but the confidence and self-awareness I gained were things I desperately needed and I don't know that I would have found that anywhere else.

I think I had more stuff to say, but I have to go now, so I'll finish this later.