maybe I'm meant for this life after all

I've been saying for the past several months that I was disappointed in myself because I always thought, from a young age, that I would be good at living overseas. I felt like I was just failing miserably at it, over and over again. Or I would be on the brink of being successful at it, like the first time in Korea, but I would give up before I had the chance.

One of the major things I've noticed in life is that things take time to get good. You have to give things a few months usually before you can really make an informed decision about them. Sometimes, you want things to be good and you try so hard to make them good, but after a few months you have to accept that they're not working and make a new plan. But more often, the first few months are shaky and you question what you're doing and why you're doing it. You long for the life you had before you took on the new endeavor. You daydream about life after this phase.

And then, without trying or doing it consciously, things sort of become business as usual, and you realize suddenly that everything's ok and you're doing it. A little further down the line, you may find that you actually like what you're doing. You may find that you're even good at it. You may start to question those future plans you made when you were daydreaming about getting the hell out of there.

All of this has been a very long preface to say that the way my job and my travel experiences have been going lately, I'm starting to rethink my plans for next year. I don't want to stay in Korea (I think I've done Korea), and I do want to go home at least for a couple of months, but I'm sort of thinking about paying off some loans when I'm done and then trying another country. There are some great opportunities out there, and with a full year of experience and my TEFL certificate, I have a lot of options.

One of the things this year is teaching me is that I really am a good teacher. And more importantly, I actually like teaching. More specifically, I'm learning what ages and subjects I like the best. I may even consider being a real teacher at home eventually. If the job market ever improves.

I mean, we'll see how the second half of the year goes. I may just be on a vacation high right now. But living here on my own and traveling to Vietnam especially have shown me that I don't have to be scared of a lot of the things that terrified me before. I am good at the expat life. It's just not easy, like I assumed it would be.