my tearful goodbye to the CZ

I need to stop assuming that I don't deserve friends, or for people to really like me.

Tonight, I had my Prague goodbye dinner/evening. First was dinner at this AWESOME pizzeria we (well, Emma) discovered in Wenceslas Square. It was delicious, and the company was even better. It was just the girls for dinner: me, Olivia, Cara, Emma, Sarah, Amanda, and Renee. I had a great time.

Then, I get a call from Nick and a text message from Mike, and they want to see me before I leave. So, after dinner, we went to U Sedu (commonly referred to as "the cave bar") for a drink. I told the guys where we were going, and they came to meet us. I don't know why I was so surprised by that.

Mike, Nick, Kenny, Pat, and Jeff come strolling in. We hung out for a little bit. They all hugged me, said how much they were going to miss me (and I said the same to them, of course), and how glad they were that they got to see me before I left.

I just couldn't believe they all came out to see me. Like I said, I don't know why that surprised me.

Stuff like that has always surprised me. It's like I don't actually think that I'm worthy of being liked or for people to give a damn about me. But I think if I believe it, it will be even more true.

I'm slowly learning to let my guard down. I hope that education continues.

I'm going to miss everyone I've met here so much. I've been (and I still am) so, so excited about my new journey--going home, then going to South Korea. But tonight, I feel the pain of leaving Prague. I've had an absolutely amazing time here, and I've learned so much, and grown so much stronger, but it's so much deeper than that. I can't really express it in words--and I can always express things in words.

I'm just going to miss my Prague family. I think I will always feel close to them, no matter the physical distance. And it's ok for me to feel sad about that right now.