Well, if you don't know already, I have decided to leave Korea.

It was a difficult decision in some ways, but in others, it was easy. It's just time. I know all the arguments against it--it's only a year, it's a once in a lifetime experience, etc., etc. But for me, it's time. And, more importantly, I have spent the past two years (probably longer than that) searching for something. Identity, purpose, a sense of belonging, happiness. I thought my location was the problem. I thought that I wasn't meant to be in Texas or even the U.S. But, as it turns out, everything that I traveled halfway around the world to find was inside me the whole time.

It's not that I haven't enjoyed my travel experiences. I definitely have, and I'm so glad that I did all of this. I met some amazing people, did some things I'll never forget, and even the times that sucked ass and all the work I did to make these experiences possible (namely, saving up for five months so I could go to Prague) were worth it. Those were all great feelings of accomplishment.

I guess, in some ways, home is where the heart is. I'm sad to leave my friends here, and I'm even a little sad to leave the excitement of traveling around a foreign country, but my excitement and optimism about going home and moving to San Antonio far outweigh those feelings. The big thing is my career change. I really, truly hate teaching. I'm now on the path to what I really want to do, and have always wanted to do but never really thought I could, which is writing. I got an internship at San Antonio Magazine where I will be writing about local music and literature, not to mention all the experience I'm going to get just working in that environment.

And, of course, there's grad school. I'm going for two reasons: a personal goal to finish my Master's degree, and to gain more skills to be more competitive in the job market. I'm so excited about both of these new things in my life. I'm a little nervous, to be honest, but it finally feels like things are working in my favor, and I'm really committed to what I'm doing. I haven't felt that way in a long time.

I'm not completely where I want to be yet, of course, but at least I have an idea of where I want to be, which is more than I can say for myself even just three months ago. And I have so much more confidence, inner calm, and drive now. I've pulled myself out of the hole.

There are still a few details I need to iron out, like a part time job, a possible graduate assistantship that would really help with my tuition, and personal stuff like gym memberships and a cell phone (trivial, I know, but it's on my mind), but I know it will be fine. I've already found a roommate, and she seems really cool, the price is right, and it's a house, which is really exciting to me since I've only lived in apartments besides my parents' house. So, I'm excited for my last two weeks in Korea which will include my weekend in Seoul with Amanda and my parents' visit, and I'm so ready to go home and to be a Texan for the rest of my life. (But still travel recreationally).