back on track

I am TIRED.

But physically tired, which is the good kind of tired to me. I like the feeling that I've done something and worked hard, and I deserve to be tired. So much better than emotional exhaustion.

As I stated in my previous post, last week, I took a break. I didn't exercise, and I didn't worry about it. I think in a way, my workouts had become stale, plus I was really swamped at work with our editor being on vacation, so I just focused on that and didn't beat myself up for not doing anything else.

It turned out to be just what I needed. The risk you take when taking an exercise break is that if you wait too long, starting up again seems impossible. However, Saturday, somehow I dragged myself to the natatorium in San Antonio (I had to be in the city that afternoon anyway, so I went a little early). I'll be honest; it would've been really easy to just blow it off and go do something else until it was time to meet my friends. But I shut my brain off and got in the pool. And I ended up having a phenomenal workout, something else that usually happens after taking a break for a few days.

Sunday was a 5k run in College Station I was doing with some friends (the people I met up with Saturday in San Antonio). It sucked, but I did it. I just felt like crap the whole time, which was probably the result of a combination of factors. I got my worst time ever, but I don't really care, I'm not in these things for the racing part of it. Then Monday, I began working out in the mornings instead of the evenings. The evenings have become really hectic with work stuff, social stuff from time to time, and just the general maintenance of my life. Plus, I decided I was getting too much sleep at night because I found myself falling asleep around 10 and not waking up until 7:15 or so. So as of Monday, I get up around 6 or 6:15, get a workout in, and then it's done for the day. I find that I feel a lot better this way. Who would've thought?

So last Friday night, I watched this documentary called "Obesity: Killer at Large: America's Greatest Threat" and it totally opened my eyes to a lot I didn't know about nutrition and how it works with your brain chemistry and other things in your body. I had started this journey of eating as much organic, natural, whole foods as possible a few months ago (I call it not eating science experiment food), and it had been going really well up until recently. I guess it just kind of got a little stale for me, I got busy, and I fell off the wagon just briefly.

Well, this movie was what I needed to get right back on. I won't bore you with the details of the film, but if you're interested you should definitely watch it. I will say that it changed--even more--the way I look at food. I can't believe I used to not even think twice about what was in my food or where it came from. Another thing that really struck me was how the same receptors in your brain that cause addictions to heroine and cocaine do the same thing with processed sugar. Yuck.

I know it's not realistic to think that I'll never eat anything bad for me again, but everything I eat is a conscious choice, and if I take the time to think about it, I'll be able to overcome a lot. And it's fun to try out new recipes that don't use any processed foods. I know this probably won't be the last time I fall off the wagon for a brief time, but now I know I can get right back on without making it into a big, year+ long disaster. This is also a way for me to stay healthy as more of a hobby (for lack of a better word) that I can feel good about rather than being obsessed with my weight all the time. Talk about exhausting.

Going back to the exercise, I'm ready to train for a sprint triathlon in June, something I've wanted to do for a long time, but wasn't in shape enough for. It's going well so far, and I know I'll have days when I feel burned out, but, as I said before, I know how to push through and get back on the horse.

A couple of other things going on in my life right now:

1. My tumor (on my collarbone) has grown considerably. It is now touching my neck, which it did not do before. My year anniversary at the paper is in April, which means I get paid sick days, so I am having it looked at by my family doctor in Granbury then. Hopefully, surgery will follow pretty soon after that.
2. I love my job, but I'm starting to get pretty bored. I'm ready for more responsibility, and after I reach the year mark here, I'm going to start looking for a way to find it... elsewhere.
3. I guess that's it for now!