the break-up

Change is hard. I knew I'd miss my coworkers in Beeville, but not this much. As much as I kind of felt like I was in limbo there, I guess I really did have a life there. I made it work. I know I can do that here too, but the first day is always hard.

It hurts. I've cried several times today just thinking about how much I miss Beeville Publishing Co. and all the people there. In Beeville, really. How much they welcomed me and made me part of their family. And even though I know I had to move on and there was no way to have a real life for me there, part of me can't believe it's over and it's part of my past now. I said a long time ago that I had learned that you have to break up with places. I've been here before. It's still true. And right now, I'm missing that backwards little town and all of the eccentric people there.

There are a lot of uncertainties for me right now, and that's not something I've traditionally dealt with well. But I have to. I don't know where I'll end up living in Houston, what kinds of opportunities I'll have, or, well, much of anything.

I'm trying really hard to remember the positives right now, after a trying day when all I wanted to do was have Gary and Jason across the hall from me to talk to and laugh with and Delia and Nina up at the front to take care of everyone. But they weren't there. No one was, really. Nobody compares.

But back to the positives. I did meet one new coworker whom I really liked, although she won't be there everyday, but at least I met someone friendly. I'm going to have a lot of freedom and independence here, which is something I really wanted, I think I'm ready for, and will work well for me.

And the biggest plus, the real reason I left such a phenomenal job in Beeville, is having my best friend and my family a 10 minute drive away from me. I don't have to be alone anymore. I guess just at work I do now.

But right now, it still hurts. The break-up is fresh.