Ok, I know everyone's getting sick of me and my crises. This isn't really a crisis, but an outlet for... an adjustment period. For things I don't know how to deal with yet.
As I seem to like to do lately, I'm going to sort this into list format:
Things I am enjoying about being home:
• family and friends (although... it's not like I thought it would be. I'll get to this in the next section)
• driving/having a car
• open space... the vastness is truly amazing and I forgot what it looked like
• being able to swim in peace at the Y - this should really be #1
• being able to bake and cook to my heart's content, and with any ingredients I want
• watching American TV when it actually comes on - and DVR
• the politeness/orderliness/calmness of things
....Yep, that's about it.
Things I am NOT enjoying:
• I seriously feel like I'm on a different planet from everyone else around me right now. And there's no way they can get it.
• Along those lines, everyone is just going about their lives and I don't know where/how I fit in. Almost as if everyone's moved on but not quite... again, I don't know if you can get it if you haven't lived it.
• open space... it's too much and I feel like it's going to swallow me whole
• the sameness, the country-ness, the nowheresville-ness, the "is this it?" feeling
• feeling like the adventure is over... I'd be lying if I said I hadn't already looked at jobs overseas - just looked! Calm down.
• the freaking SUN. Has it always been this bright here?
I feel restless and unsettled. I desperately want to start my new life but I don't know what or where that is yet. And I am still forgetting that food scraps can go in the regular garbage.
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