stronger

So here I am again, about to break another lease.

This time, it's not really an "I should've known better and thought about this beforehand" type thing. I couldn't have predicted my reasons for leaving. They are real and practical and do not have anything to do with whims. Do I feel relieved? Yes. Am I justified in feeling that way, or is it my continual urge to run away? I don't know.

I guess that doesn't really matter. All that matters is what is. I'm really excited to go to Asia, though. Maybe more excited than I was to come to Prague. That could be because this will be more like starting a life, because I'll arrive with a job. And because I won't be as scared of relocating halfway around the world this time. I think.

I'm also excited to go home for a little bit. I've really missed Texas. My friends, my family, the sky, the open spaces, Mexican food, driving (I hate to admit that!), warm weather, etc., etc. It will be totally weird to hear people speaking English all the time. As much as I've loved the past 2 months, this experience has given me a new appreciation for home. I finally understand that...although for me (and a few others like me, I think), I had to go see the world to feel that way. And I will always want to continue traveling.

Part of me is tempted to stay home, but I'm not done traveling yet. I've got the rest of my life to stay home. Plus, now I know that I definitely want to move back to Texas when I'm done teaching overseas. That's where I ultimately belong, no matter how many rednecks tell me I'm too liberal for it. Texas is made up of all kinds, not just rednecks and cowboys (not that there's anything wrong with cowboys).

I'm so ready for Friday to get here, yet I never want it to come.

I am so much stronger now than I ever thought I could be.