Remembering Lucy

I've never cried this much over losing a pet. She was more than a pet to me. I just hope she didn't suffer. I can't bear that thought.

Lucy wasn't the smartest dog. She could be kind of selfish and manipulative. But she was my dog. And I loved her.

I just pulled a dress out of my closet that I haven't worn yet since I've been in Korea. It still has Lucy's hair on it. I look at it and think that she won't ever shed her hair all over my clothes again. She won't nuzzle up to me, or sit on my feet, or put her head in my lap, or lick my face. We won't play blanket. She won't stalk trucks when they drive by. I won't hold her when it storms. She won't keep me company when I'm home alone.

She was such a happy dog. All the time. Unless there was a thunderstorm. And she loved everybody. She made friends so easily. When I felt bad, I would hug her and she would lick my face. She loved to have her tummy scratched. I used to give her people food when no one was watching. We took naps together. It was one of our favorite hobbies. She would fall asleep and have doggie dreams. Sometimes she would run or growl in her sleep.

All of this can't even describe how I felt about her. And how much I miss her and I dread the thought of going home without her waiting for me. If there is a doggie heaven (and I have to believe there is), I know she's there playing and sleeping and eating milkbones. And having her butt scratched. She loved that too.

I just miss her. I know I'll probably get a dog when I go home next year, but right now I don't think any dog could mean as much to me. Rest in peace, Lucy. I won't forget you.