Ok, blog readers, if any of you really are out there, I need some feedback. Below are links (well, url addresses, I can't remember how to make links) to some of the articles I've written in the past year (has it really been that long?!). I'm trying to have ready a bunch of clips for job applications, which I'll start working on soon. I want a good variety of stuff I've done so I can show my range, but I also want to make sure I'm putting forth my best work. On some of the categories below I have two or three options, so--because it's really hard to judge your own work sometimes--I would like to know which ones y'all think are the best.
Of course, the individual jobs I'm applying for will have some bearing on which clips I choose, but I'm just looking to find which stories are the best for each type. Also, some categories below only have one story that I've already chosen. You don't have to read those unless you want to.
Comment here or send me an email/FB message!
a facts reporting story: http://mysoutex.com/view/full_story/12403655/article-%E2%80%98Women-are-worth-our-time%E2%80%99? OR http://mysoutex.com/view/full_story/9931318/article-Peril-of-the-Pocketknife--Does-punishment-go-too-far-for-student-? OR http://mysoutex.com/view/full_story/9846468/article-Good-dogs-go-missing--Is-it-dognappers-or-just-doggie-wanderlust--?
a human interest story: http://mysoutex.com/view/full_story/10179740/article-A-tale-of-two-kidneys? OR http://mysoutex.com/view/full_story/10823702/article-Their-%E2%80%98guardian-angel%E2%80%99? OR http://mysoutex.com/view/full_story/12257325/article-%E2%80%98Tired-of-crying%E2%80%99? OR http://mysoutex.com/view/full_story/7672679/article-S-T-grad-beats-the-odds?
a more opinion-based story: http://mysoutex.com/view/full_story/9184518/article-Tax-free-weekend--Nightmare-or-dream-come-true-?
unique feature: http://mysoutex.com/view/full_story/7261960/article-Lost-to-time--but-not-forgotten?
an instructional story: http://mysoutex.com/view/full_story/11498802/article-Industry-experts-say--No-need-to-fear-%E2%80%98fraccing%E2%80%99-? OR http://mysoutex.com/view/full_story/7261730/article-South-Texas-goes-nuclear?
Monday, March 28, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
on the edge of letting go
I'm sitting in my office trying not to eat an entire bag of dark chocolate almonds. I don't feel bad about it. They're semi-healthy (even if I have eaten 2 servings now). I got hungry early, ate the snack I brought from home (string cheese and Triscuits) and then got really hungry again. I don't think I had enough protein at lunch today. Plus, for the amount I've been working out, I think my hunger has increased slightly. Real hunger, not emotional cravings. I don't consider this a binge.
I've been doing really well with not eating processed sugar. My goal is to eat only one real dessert each week. I have stuck to that pretty well; last week I had two but that's ok. Instead, I eat fruity concoctions I make that don't have any sugar--frozen banana treats, yogurty things, etc., etc. It's gone well. I don't feel deprived of anything.
Also, I'm getting into really good shape. I've started doing a lot more heavy lifting in the gym, which I think has really made a difference. I've been running, biking and swimming regularly, staying on a schedule as much as I can with work and other commitments. I think I will definitely be triathlon-ready within the next couple of months. There's one in particular I have in mind (in June), but I'm not sure where I will be by then, so I may end up doing another one. And I may be ready to "tri" one (ha, ha, ha) before June, even. We'll see.
In the meantime, I'm still managing to maintain some sort of social life. However, I have to say that the hardest thing about all of this is being back in old environments. People drinking whatever they want, not being mindful of the calories, eating fried food, staying up freakishly late, etc. I don't have anything against having a good time, but.... let's just say that these days, I like to plan my "good times" carefully so as not to throw me off track for an entire week or worse. And a "good time" to me doesn't really involve binge drinking, junk food, or staying up till 4 a.m. anymore. In that way, I feel like I'm creating an inevitable distance between some of my old friends and me. In a way, that's sad, but it's really ok. It's just the way it is. I don't want to do what they're doing, and for the most part, they don't want to do what I'm doing. I sort of wish they wanted to be healthier, but they don't right now, and I'll be ready to help them when they do.
I've also been thinking about how I define my personal happiness by my size. (I say size rather t than weight because I don't weigh myself). I want to change that, but the way I want it to change is by getting to my ideal size and staying there, something that I thought I had achieved a couple years ago, but surprise! Those pounds are just lurking around the corner if you don't stay conscious and careful. In a way, I'm glad because I am truly learning what it means to be healthy, again, something I thought I knew but so, so clearly did not.
The trick with this is going to be, I think, staying proactive about not gaining when I go through difficult, unhappy, or stressful times, as I have done in the past. My inner wellbeing does not need to be reflected in my pants size. In order to do this, I am going to have to continue to be vigilant about separating food (and exercise, for that matter) from my emotions. Thankfully, though, the process is a cycle. If can keep up my healthy eating and regular exercise, I tend to feel happier no matter what crappy things are happening in other areas of my life. It's something I'll always have to be aware of, but I feel confident now that I have the upper hand.
I know my posts lately have had a lot to do with food, working out, and body image. That probably gets a little tiresome to read about. But I truly, truly feel like I am on the brink of finally letting go of something that has haunted me and controlled my life since I was in junior high. And that's pretty huge--worth a few blog entries.
I've been doing really well with not eating processed sugar. My goal is to eat only one real dessert each week. I have stuck to that pretty well; last week I had two but that's ok. Instead, I eat fruity concoctions I make that don't have any sugar--frozen banana treats, yogurty things, etc., etc. It's gone well. I don't feel deprived of anything.
Also, I'm getting into really good shape. I've started doing a lot more heavy lifting in the gym, which I think has really made a difference. I've been running, biking and swimming regularly, staying on a schedule as much as I can with work and other commitments. I think I will definitely be triathlon-ready within the next couple of months. There's one in particular I have in mind (in June), but I'm not sure where I will be by then, so I may end up doing another one. And I may be ready to "tri" one (ha, ha, ha) before June, even. We'll see.
In the meantime, I'm still managing to maintain some sort of social life. However, I have to say that the hardest thing about all of this is being back in old environments. People drinking whatever they want, not being mindful of the calories, eating fried food, staying up freakishly late, etc. I don't have anything against having a good time, but.... let's just say that these days, I like to plan my "good times" carefully so as not to throw me off track for an entire week or worse. And a "good time" to me doesn't really involve binge drinking, junk food, or staying up till 4 a.m. anymore. In that way, I feel like I'm creating an inevitable distance between some of my old friends and me. In a way, that's sad, but it's really ok. It's just the way it is. I don't want to do what they're doing, and for the most part, they don't want to do what I'm doing. I sort of wish they wanted to be healthier, but they don't right now, and I'll be ready to help them when they do.
I've also been thinking about how I define my personal happiness by my size. (I say size rather t than weight because I don't weigh myself). I want to change that, but the way I want it to change is by getting to my ideal size and staying there, something that I thought I had achieved a couple years ago, but surprise! Those pounds are just lurking around the corner if you don't stay conscious and careful. In a way, I'm glad because I am truly learning what it means to be healthy, again, something I thought I knew but so, so clearly did not.
The trick with this is going to be, I think, staying proactive about not gaining when I go through difficult, unhappy, or stressful times, as I have done in the past. My inner wellbeing does not need to be reflected in my pants size. In order to do this, I am going to have to continue to be vigilant about separating food (and exercise, for that matter) from my emotions. Thankfully, though, the process is a cycle. If can keep up my healthy eating and regular exercise, I tend to feel happier no matter what crappy things are happening in other areas of my life. It's something I'll always have to be aware of, but I feel confident now that I have the upper hand.
I know my posts lately have had a lot to do with food, working out, and body image. That probably gets a little tiresome to read about. But I truly, truly feel like I am on the brink of finally letting go of something that has haunted me and controlled my life since I was in junior high. And that's pretty huge--worth a few blog entries.
Friday, March 11, 2011
rational
Just an update to yesterday afternoon's rant:
Strangely enough, the person who calmed me down after everything was my dad. I guess it's not really that strange since he is probably the most rational person I know. It was just the first time that worked in my favor. Usually, he's being rational and arguing with me about something crazy I want to do that he thinks I shouldn't. I think most of the arguments, though, result from us being incredibly alike.
But anyway, after that and some internet research, I changed my appointment to a day when I can see Dr. Smith and realized that having to wait six more weeks to see the doctor I want to see really isn't a big deal in this situation.
In other news, I have definitely decided that career/location switch is in order ASAP, which will be mid-April. I'm not stupid or naive enough to quit a job before I have a new one, nor do I even want to do that, but while I love to write (obviously--do you see how often I blog, just about nothing?) and I want to keep writing, the hard news stuff just isn't for me. But that was the whole point of this job--to get started and to see where I fit into this field. Now I have an idea of the direction I want to take from here.
More about that later. It's Friday afternoon... it's the freakin' weekend baby I'm about to have me some fun!
Strangely enough, the person who calmed me down after everything was my dad. I guess it's not really that strange since he is probably the most rational person I know. It was just the first time that worked in my favor. Usually, he's being rational and arguing with me about something crazy I want to do that he thinks I shouldn't. I think most of the arguments, though, result from us being incredibly alike.
But anyway, after that and some internet research, I changed my appointment to a day when I can see Dr. Smith and realized that having to wait six more weeks to see the doctor I want to see really isn't a big deal in this situation.
In other news, I have definitely decided that career/location switch is in order ASAP, which will be mid-April. I'm not stupid or naive enough to quit a job before I have a new one, nor do I even want to do that, but while I love to write (obviously--do you see how often I blog, just about nothing?) and I want to keep writing, the hard news stuff just isn't for me. But that was the whole point of this job--to get started and to see where I fit into this field. Now I have an idea of the direction I want to take from here.
More about that later. It's Friday afternoon... it's the freakin' weekend baby I'm about to have me some fun!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Mark
I just cried because of a doctor's appointment.
When someone says that, you probably think they just heard bad news from the doctor. But that's not what happened. No, I cried over the scheduling of the doctor's appointment.
For about two years now, I've had this gross tumor on my left collarbone. It has grown considerably. This morning, I noticed that it now touches the base of my neck on one corner. It did not used to do that.
I got clearance from my work to use a sick day to have it looked at by my family doctor at home in Granbury. This means a 5 1/2 hour drive. Also, I have no paid sick days until mid-April, when I will have been working here for a full year. I took the first available day, Monday, April 18, and called the doctor's office to make the appointment. It needed to be on a Monday so I can go to the doctor in the morning and drive back here in the afternoon, only missing one day of work since I will have driven to Granbury Friday after work.
Only come to find out, Dr. Smith isn't there on Mondays. The physician's assistant is. So I, trying not to panic, ask if I can make the appointment for the Friday before, so I can still see him (the whole reason I am driving that far to see the doctor is that I don't trust any of the doctors down here and I really want someone familiar and credible to me to look at it). She says they are already booked. That's five weeks from now! Seriously?! So I, not knowing what else to do, ask how the assistant is (as I'm choking up and I can't help it).
"Mark? He's great," she says. "We've had some iffy ones in the past, but he's really good."
At least I know she wasn't going to say any old moron with a stethoscope was great. So I go ahead and make the appointment for Monday morning, April 18, according to the original plan, except that I won't be seeing Dr. Smith, who is probably the best doctor I've ever been to, I'll be seeing Mark. Ok.
I get off the phone and totally lose it. I get up and go to the bathroom, hopefully before anybody notices. I work with a bunch of dudes. I can't cry in front of them. I get in there, let it all out, semi-regain my composure and try to erase the red splotches and mascara stains from my face.
I know that in the grand scheme of things, this little incident wasn't that big of a deal and probably wasn't anything to cry over. But I think what upset me is everything the episode of trying to make the appointment represents: I have a gross thing in my body that I really want removed; to see what I feel is a decent doctor I have to do this whole dance of finding a time I can make the long drive, take a whole day off because of that, and I can only see him at very specific times because of that; and after all of this careful arranging, I can't even see the doctor I want to see!
I guess, plain and simple, what all of it boils down to is that I'm ready to get this thing removed and I want to go home. I know I don't have cancer and my life is not in danger, but I am afraid that the tumor is getting closer and closer to my major arteries and veins. That doesn't make me feel so confident about having surgery. Plus, I'll be honest, it looks ugly and people notice it if I'm wearing something where it shows. I don't want to plan my outfits around my tumor! I'll take the scar. And finally, I love my job and my co-workers, but I really do want to go home. Or at least somewhere where my family is very near. I'm tired of being stuck out in the boonies all by myself. That will be next on the agenda.
For now, I guess I'll keep my appointment with Mark.
When someone says that, you probably think they just heard bad news from the doctor. But that's not what happened. No, I cried over the scheduling of the doctor's appointment.
For about two years now, I've had this gross tumor on my left collarbone. It has grown considerably. This morning, I noticed that it now touches the base of my neck on one corner. It did not used to do that.
I got clearance from my work to use a sick day to have it looked at by my family doctor at home in Granbury. This means a 5 1/2 hour drive. Also, I have no paid sick days until mid-April, when I will have been working here for a full year. I took the first available day, Monday, April 18, and called the doctor's office to make the appointment. It needed to be on a Monday so I can go to the doctor in the morning and drive back here in the afternoon, only missing one day of work since I will have driven to Granbury Friday after work.
Only come to find out, Dr. Smith isn't there on Mondays. The physician's assistant is. So I, trying not to panic, ask if I can make the appointment for the Friday before, so I can still see him (the whole reason I am driving that far to see the doctor is that I don't trust any of the doctors down here and I really want someone familiar and credible to me to look at it). She says they are already booked. That's five weeks from now! Seriously?! So I, not knowing what else to do, ask how the assistant is (as I'm choking up and I can't help it).
"Mark? He's great," she says. "We've had some iffy ones in the past, but he's really good."
At least I know she wasn't going to say any old moron with a stethoscope was great. So I go ahead and make the appointment for Monday morning, April 18, according to the original plan, except that I won't be seeing Dr. Smith, who is probably the best doctor I've ever been to, I'll be seeing Mark. Ok.
I get off the phone and totally lose it. I get up and go to the bathroom, hopefully before anybody notices. I work with a bunch of dudes. I can't cry in front of them. I get in there, let it all out, semi-regain my composure and try to erase the red splotches and mascara stains from my face.
I know that in the grand scheme of things, this little incident wasn't that big of a deal and probably wasn't anything to cry over. But I think what upset me is everything the episode of trying to make the appointment represents: I have a gross thing in my body that I really want removed; to see what I feel is a decent doctor I have to do this whole dance of finding a time I can make the long drive, take a whole day off because of that, and I can only see him at very specific times because of that; and after all of this careful arranging, I can't even see the doctor I want to see!
I guess, plain and simple, what all of it boils down to is that I'm ready to get this thing removed and I want to go home. I know I don't have cancer and my life is not in danger, but I am afraid that the tumor is getting closer and closer to my major arteries and veins. That doesn't make me feel so confident about having surgery. Plus, I'll be honest, it looks ugly and people notice it if I'm wearing something where it shows. I don't want to plan my outfits around my tumor! I'll take the scar. And finally, I love my job and my co-workers, but I really do want to go home. Or at least somewhere where my family is very near. I'm tired of being stuck out in the boonies all by myself. That will be next on the agenda.
For now, I guess I'll keep my appointment with Mark.
back on track
I am TIRED.
But physically tired, which is the good kind of tired to me. I like the feeling that I've done something and worked hard, and I deserve to be tired. So much better than emotional exhaustion.
As I stated in my previous post, last week, I took a break. I didn't exercise, and I didn't worry about it. I think in a way, my workouts had become stale, plus I was really swamped at work with our editor being on vacation, so I just focused on that and didn't beat myself up for not doing anything else.
It turned out to be just what I needed. The risk you take when taking an exercise break is that if you wait too long, starting up again seems impossible. However, Saturday, somehow I dragged myself to the natatorium in San Antonio (I had to be in the city that afternoon anyway, so I went a little early). I'll be honest; it would've been really easy to just blow it off and go do something else until it was time to meet my friends. But I shut my brain off and got in the pool. And I ended up having a phenomenal workout, something else that usually happens after taking a break for a few days.
Sunday was a 5k run in College Station I was doing with some friends (the people I met up with Saturday in San Antonio). It sucked, but I did it. I just felt like crap the whole time, which was probably the result of a combination of factors. I got my worst time ever, but I don't really care, I'm not in these things for the racing part of it. Then Monday, I began working out in the mornings instead of the evenings. The evenings have become really hectic with work stuff, social stuff from time to time, and just the general maintenance of my life. Plus, I decided I was getting too much sleep at night because I found myself falling asleep around 10 and not waking up until 7:15 or so. So as of Monday, I get up around 6 or 6:15, get a workout in, and then it's done for the day. I find that I feel a lot better this way. Who would've thought?
So last Friday night, I watched this documentary called "Obesity: Killer at Large: America's Greatest Threat" and it totally opened my eyes to a lot I didn't know about nutrition and how it works with your brain chemistry and other things in your body. I had started this journey of eating as much organic, natural, whole foods as possible a few months ago (I call it not eating science experiment food), and it had been going really well up until recently. I guess it just kind of got a little stale for me, I got busy, and I fell off the wagon just briefly.
Well, this movie was what I needed to get right back on. I won't bore you with the details of the film, but if you're interested you should definitely watch it. I will say that it changed--even more--the way I look at food. I can't believe I used to not even think twice about what was in my food or where it came from. Another thing that really struck me was how the same receptors in your brain that cause addictions to heroine and cocaine do the same thing with processed sugar. Yuck.
I know it's not realistic to think that I'll never eat anything bad for me again, but everything I eat is a conscious choice, and if I take the time to think about it, I'll be able to overcome a lot. And it's fun to try out new recipes that don't use any processed foods. I know this probably won't be the last time I fall off the wagon for a brief time, but now I know I can get right back on without making it into a big, year+ long disaster. This is also a way for me to stay healthy as more of a hobby (for lack of a better word) that I can feel good about rather than being obsessed with my weight all the time. Talk about exhausting.
Going back to the exercise, I'm ready to train for a sprint triathlon in June, something I've wanted to do for a long time, but wasn't in shape enough for. It's going well so far, and I know I'll have days when I feel burned out, but, as I said before, I know how to push through and get back on the horse.
A couple of other things going on in my life right now:
But physically tired, which is the good kind of tired to me. I like the feeling that I've done something and worked hard, and I deserve to be tired. So much better than emotional exhaustion.
As I stated in my previous post, last week, I took a break. I didn't exercise, and I didn't worry about it. I think in a way, my workouts had become stale, plus I was really swamped at work with our editor being on vacation, so I just focused on that and didn't beat myself up for not doing anything else.
It turned out to be just what I needed. The risk you take when taking an exercise break is that if you wait too long, starting up again seems impossible. However, Saturday, somehow I dragged myself to the natatorium in San Antonio (I had to be in the city that afternoon anyway, so I went a little early). I'll be honest; it would've been really easy to just blow it off and go do something else until it was time to meet my friends. But I shut my brain off and got in the pool. And I ended up having a phenomenal workout, something else that usually happens after taking a break for a few days.
Sunday was a 5k run in College Station I was doing with some friends (the people I met up with Saturday in San Antonio). It sucked, but I did it. I just felt like crap the whole time, which was probably the result of a combination of factors. I got my worst time ever, but I don't really care, I'm not in these things for the racing part of it. Then Monday, I began working out in the mornings instead of the evenings. The evenings have become really hectic with work stuff, social stuff from time to time, and just the general maintenance of my life. Plus, I decided I was getting too much sleep at night because I found myself falling asleep around 10 and not waking up until 7:15 or so. So as of Monday, I get up around 6 or 6:15, get a workout in, and then it's done for the day. I find that I feel a lot better this way. Who would've thought?
So last Friday night, I watched this documentary called "Obesity: Killer at Large: America's Greatest Threat" and it totally opened my eyes to a lot I didn't know about nutrition and how it works with your brain chemistry and other things in your body. I had started this journey of eating as much organic, natural, whole foods as possible a few months ago (I call it not eating science experiment food), and it had been going really well up until recently. I guess it just kind of got a little stale for me, I got busy, and I fell off the wagon just briefly.
Well, this movie was what I needed to get right back on. I won't bore you with the details of the film, but if you're interested you should definitely watch it. I will say that it changed--even more--the way I look at food. I can't believe I used to not even think twice about what was in my food or where it came from. Another thing that really struck me was how the same receptors in your brain that cause addictions to heroine and cocaine do the same thing with processed sugar. Yuck.
I know it's not realistic to think that I'll never eat anything bad for me again, but everything I eat is a conscious choice, and if I take the time to think about it, I'll be able to overcome a lot. And it's fun to try out new recipes that don't use any processed foods. I know this probably won't be the last time I fall off the wagon for a brief time, but now I know I can get right back on without making it into a big, year+ long disaster. This is also a way for me to stay healthy as more of a hobby (for lack of a better word) that I can feel good about rather than being obsessed with my weight all the time. Talk about exhausting.
Going back to the exercise, I'm ready to train for a sprint triathlon in June, something I've wanted to do for a long time, but wasn't in shape enough for. It's going well so far, and I know I'll have days when I feel burned out, but, as I said before, I know how to push through and get back on the horse.
A couple of other things going on in my life right now:
- My tumor (on my collarbone) has grown considerably. It is now touching my neck, which it did not do before. My year anniversary at the paper is in April, which means I get paid sick days, so I am having it looked at by my family doctor in Granbury then. Hopefully, surgery will follow pretty soon after that.
- I love my job, but I'm starting to get pretty bored. I'm ready for more responsibility, and after I reach the year mark here, I'm going to start looking for a way to find it... elsewhere.
- I guess that's it for now!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
preview to the next reflection
Well, I've been absent from the blogosphere for longer than usual. I think I just needed some time away from thinking and analyzing, and more time just doing. Last week I took a little mental/physical/emotional break. And this week, I feel more focused and content than ever. However, I get off work in 2 minutes, so my reflecting on this will have to wait--probably until tomorrow.
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