Well, it's Sunday, and you know what that means. Update time. And it's pouring down rain outside, so I'm perfectly content to hole up in my apartment and play on the computer. I love rainy weekends.
It's been a rather enlightening week for me. Time is really starting to fly, and I hope that continues. I've pretty much made my peace with being here, but it is not easy. Anyway, it's exactly 2 weeks until my 27th birthday. I don't think 27 is old, but it's still hard to believe I'm in my late 20s. But enough age talk. I have 3 more years before I really have to freak out.
I've also been (lately, not just this week) realizing how much I want to keep teaching (and traveling, but we'll get to that). It's funny how this year was supposed to be something I had to get through to save money to become something else and I ended up finding what I really want to do. Yeah, I tried this road 3 years ago and it didn't work out, but I think I just wasn't ready then. I'm 2 weeks away from my halfway point for this year, and I've thought several times during the past 6 months that I regretted coming back. It hasn't been an easy road (in so many ways I could never have imagined beforehand), and it definitely hasn't been the magical foreign experience everyone imagines before they do something like this, but it has definitely been worth it - just not in the ways I thought it would be.
So anyway, I've been throwing myself into work and allowing myself to let go and enjoy it. This is a really significant a-ha moment for me after so many years of trying things out and so many failed attempts and so much soul searching. How typical for me to give into something I fought so hard against for so long, something I thought I couldn't do.
I guess I don't have much exciting news to report this week. It was a long, tiring week back to work after vacation, but it went pretty well. I definitely think my kindergarten experience ends after this year. I still don't have any friends in Daejeon, but I guess that's just the way it is. Luckily I am independent by nature.
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Friday, August 3, 2012
maybe I'm meant for this life after all
I've been saying for the past several months that I was disappointed in myself because I always thought, from a young age, that I would be good at living overseas. I felt like I was just failing miserably at it, over and over again. Or I would be on the brink of being successful at it, like the first time in Korea, but I would give up before I had the chance.
One of the major things I've noticed in life is that things take time to get good. You have to give things a few months usually before you can really make an informed decision about them. Sometimes, you want things to be good and you try so hard to make them good, but after a few months you have to accept that they're not working and make a new plan. But more often, the first few months are shaky and you question what you're doing and why you're doing it. You long for the life you had before you took on the new endeavor. You daydream about life after this phase.
And then, without trying or doing it consciously, things sort of become business as usual, and you realize suddenly that everything's ok and you're doing it. A little further down the line, you may find that you actually like what you're doing. You may find that you're even good at it. You may start to question those future plans you made when you were daydreaming about getting the hell out of there.
All of this has been a very long preface to say that the way my job and my travel experiences have been going lately, I'm starting to rethink my plans for next year. I don't want to stay in Korea (I think I've done Korea), and I do want to go home at least for a couple of months, but I'm sort of thinking about paying off some loans when I'm done and then trying another country. There are some great opportunities out there, and with a full year of experience and my TEFL certificate, I have a lot of options.
One of the things this year is teaching me is that I really am a good teacher. And more importantly, I actually like teaching. More specifically, I'm learning what ages and subjects I like the best. I may even consider being a real teacher at home eventually. If the job market ever improves.
I mean, we'll see how the second half of the year goes. I may just be on a vacation high right now. But living here on my own and traveling to Vietnam especially have shown me that I don't have to be scared of a lot of the things that terrified me before. I am good at the expat life. It's just not easy, like I assumed it would be.
One of the major things I've noticed in life is that things take time to get good. You have to give things a few months usually before you can really make an informed decision about them. Sometimes, you want things to be good and you try so hard to make them good, but after a few months you have to accept that they're not working and make a new plan. But more often, the first few months are shaky and you question what you're doing and why you're doing it. You long for the life you had before you took on the new endeavor. You daydream about life after this phase.
And then, without trying or doing it consciously, things sort of become business as usual, and you realize suddenly that everything's ok and you're doing it. A little further down the line, you may find that you actually like what you're doing. You may find that you're even good at it. You may start to question those future plans you made when you were daydreaming about getting the hell out of there.
All of this has been a very long preface to say that the way my job and my travel experiences have been going lately, I'm starting to rethink my plans for next year. I don't want to stay in Korea (I think I've done Korea), and I do want to go home at least for a couple of months, but I'm sort of thinking about paying off some loans when I'm done and then trying another country. There are some great opportunities out there, and with a full year of experience and my TEFL certificate, I have a lot of options.
One of the things this year is teaching me is that I really am a good teacher. And more importantly, I actually like teaching. More specifically, I'm learning what ages and subjects I like the best. I may even consider being a real teacher at home eventually. If the job market ever improves.
I mean, we'll see how the second half of the year goes. I may just be on a vacation high right now. But living here on my own and traveling to Vietnam especially have shown me that I don't have to be scared of a lot of the things that terrified me before. I am good at the expat life. It's just not easy, like I assumed it would be.
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